Tuesday, January 4, 2011

THE GARBAGE IS TOO DAMN HIGH


Do you like what I've done with my picture? I was trying to merge my hair across my chins using the Apple photo app newly discovered on my Little Mac. Hmm...as seen here, you can't rub out if you make a mistake - story of my life. Never mind, we are lucky to have this picture at all because it was taken by a nutter.

Yep, the passing fella I accosted seemed normal enough - and this is how many, many New Yorkers trick you. I mean, he couldn't have looked more normal. Clean-shaven, podgy-ish but boring-business-smart-casual, carrying a couple of shopping bags, newly filled at Whole Foods. We are talking trustworthy! So I approached him very nicely and asked if he would mind doing the business. He obliged, handed back the camera and then launched into a tirade. "Whaddaya wanna picture of yourself in front of all that goddamn garbage for Lady anyway, are you crazy? Or are you gonna send your picture to the m_________ers who left the garbage there? They are m_________ers, I hate those b_______ds!!!!!! If I ever met one I would f_____g let that m__________er know woddIthought of his garbage removal skills!!!!! A-------es!'

 It was unclear if he was referring to the rubbish removal men or the previous owners of the stuff but when he started sweating and not moving on I ran away. Looking back on the incident, I now regret not photographing the passing bloke, instead of vice-versa.

As for the garbage, it really was stinky today as the weather has warmed up. Most scary of all was that while on my early run around 7.30 a.m (lunchtime in New York) I passed a similar pile of garbage on Amsterdam. Drawing level with it, the pile seemed to move. I new exactly who was in there and it wasn't Batty Bat. It was Ratty Rat and his mates as usual.  Screaming 'Rats! Rats! Yaaaaagh! Help!!!' etc on the silent street caused one little rat to jump out from about waist-height (mine, not his/hers) and run off. The lesson is: when passing a pile of rats, it's best to be swift and silent rather than motionless and hysterical.

The Goddess only knows what it must be like for the garbage disposal folk. Our local ones are a very friendly, cheery bunch who Poppy and I are on good terms with. They tell me the rats always run if you approach them but to be honest, I never want to test that principle again. Will just leave it to the professionals who cannot help the regulations, weather, excuses and holiday plans of the people they work for.

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