Madonna at the Oscars in March (top) and the Met Ball (early May)
From the looks of these pictures, Madonna seems to have dumped her cushiony face. Quite where she left it is anyone's guess but at least she has lost that scary, pillowy look. Actually I wonder how she regained her angles? Has she been to see Dr Angle the facial bone-restorer? Gimme his number!!!!!
While it was heartening to hear Madonna 'felt fat' at the Met - 'she's human!!!!' cried the papers, what was less cheery for me was to hear her on Oprah last week. She confessed to Departing Oprah (DO) that she, DO, is the only living woman Madonna admires. Not much of a one for the sisterhood, Madge, she is a typical American woman. I probably shouldn't be saying this but I feel like getting it off my (much bigger than Madonna's) chest. Fact is, as Kelly Valen pointed out in her book, The Twisted Sisterhood, there is a very nasty undertow that drags down the hearts and souls of many American women. On the surface they are smiley cheeseballs but beneath they are as hard as the Black Hills of North Dakota (I just thought of that!) and they bluddy well hate each other.
If you, the Hapless Brit don't have all your cards in a row for a new social meeting with the average American woman you will be stuffed by the competition. Trouble is, I didn't realise it was a competition. I had no idea, until I arrived, that American women are engaged in a Giant Reality TV Show from birth. I don't know what they are competing for but they compete relentlessly throughout their lives. Some fall by the wayside, gaining weight or cats but most maintain the effort. You can see it in the back of their eyes, a sort of edgy, darting fear. They never, ever let their guard down. That is why real humour is so scarce here. Women cannot laugh at themselves in case their school Prom Queen catches them, takes the joke, makes it real and posts it on Facebook. So instead they remain deadly serious all the time, listening out for slights or insults and desperately sniffing out each other's flaws. It's exhausting and painful to watch. Madonna has obviously been hurt so badly by women in the past that she does not afford any living woman, besides DO, one ounce of admiration or respect. There are exceptions to the Competing/Madonna blueprint of course and I have been lucky to meet some of them, thank the Goddess. Also, superficially at least, many women in New York really live the feminist dream.
The DO and Madonna exchange caused me to ponder.. If I asked any of my British friends which living women they most admire, they would reel off a list that might include Viv Westwood, their best friend or indeed, Madonna. There is a generosity of spirit in British women. A willingness to give without getting, to respect and love other women for their sheer womanliness and a shared desire to further the feminine cause, whatever that may be. This joined-up spirit, mutual understanding, patience and respect is what binds British women together, where-ever they are in the world. I was sorry this week not to have been able to extend even a touch of that to another British Housewife of New York, who very awfully committed suicide at the weekend. My heart goes out to her and her family and I wish, if she needed help, I had known her and been able to offer it.
The point is, watching Madonna and Oprah reminded me that the thing I miss most in New York is the convivial, intelligent, raw spirit of the women of Britain. Rule Britannia, dears.
No comments:
Post a Comment