JEN AGAIN

LEAVE HER ALONE, CHELSEA HANDLER!

I know, I know, it's stalkerish but I only have Jen's best interests at heart. Chelsea Handler is a Californian Z-grader. She's like Joan Rivers already, so what will she be like, aged 70 plus? I've tried to balance out my opinion of Chelsea by watching her show but it's pants. She's loud, crude and un-funny. A bit like that other American comedian she competes with, Somebody (think it's Kathy) Griffin. Both women are hard as nails, trailer-park-savvy and talk a lot about 'down there'. They both had Bravo shows but I think Griffin may have been kicked off. Oh, either way they are depressing old birds you'd expect to find in a bar in Vegas, if you were a sailor who'd got lost on shore leave and taken the train in-land instead of back to the dock.

If Jen is serious about her future she needs a PR overhaul. Otherwise, only Bravo awaits her. I hate to sound like the Mistress of Doom but I can't stress highly enough how much the Chelsea relationship must be harming her. What does Courtney think? Because she has been interestingly absent from Jen's dalliances with her NBF.  So has Sheryl Crow and new mum Christina Applegate. Many congrats to her by the way. All these lovely Jen friends are absent from Jen's life now that Chelsea's taken her over.  Come on Chris the Hairdresser, we need an intervention. Very clearly, Chelsea is taking over and will see to it that no-one gets close! Clearly a control freak with a lot of power over her inner circle, she's a person who bulldozes everyone else's objections. Fine in her own life but not in Jen's. Jen is vulnerable and still can't get love right, fodder for the bossy, controlling tactics of Chelsea.

Let's hope for some kind of bust-up when Jen discovers that Chelsea has booked them both to appear as the cabaret at a Cougar Convention in Ohio over Spring Break, then on to a mini-tour of Bar Rooms with Brawls across Minnesota in May.  For the love of Brad, somebody help her!