Christmas by surprise

Our tree - unavoidable as it was blocking the pavement outside Duane Reade prior to our purchase.

It's that time of year again and as usual, Christmas has come as a complete surprise to me! Not Christmas, who's she? Where did that come from? Haven't we already had it, etc etc.  Now, here we are one week away and the cards have begun to arrive. Yes, I am talking about the family photo cards that shame every last one of us who have not had the foresight to a) get the photos together and b) send them to the card-makers. I know, I know, one can do it on-line now. But how pray, does one get all those envelopes and cards actually out of the printer may I ASK?

I can hardly stand to open the envelopes jamming up our mailbox down in the lobby. Especially the ones with NY postage. I just know each one contains smiling pictures of lovely-looking families caught off-guard, gorgeously, about six months ago. Christmas cards never occur to me until the first ones appear in the mail. Why o why can't I remember them in June? Why, when we are all together as a family, actually having a pleasant moment, can't someone shout out 'SHOOT IT FOR THE CHRISTMAS CARD FOR GOD'S SAKE!'

Every year I say to my spouse, 'Spouse, we must make our own lovely Christmas card next year, with us all dressed up in matching woolies or reindeer noses or something' he says 'Yes, let's'. He never means it though and so here we are once again, a box of charity cards on the coffee table, next to a mountain of old envelopes, post its, books and diaries with people's addresses in/on them, somewhere. Why send a card at all, is the question...are we so steeped in 'duty' that we can't just shove them in the fireplace with a box of Bryant May? Wasn't he the guitarist with Queen, married to Anita Dobson? I digress I know, just trying to remember the name of those yellow/green/red matchboxes but like Christmas, alas the memory eludes me.

The thing is, I genuinely do hope that all the people I like/love/appreciate have a nice time at Christmas - so that's why every year I try to send them all cards saying so. The cards just won't say anything else. At all.