Saturday, December 18, 2010

RUNWAY NIGHTS (snow joke)


Snow and airports - an unhappy combination

Awoken this morning by the glare of RBH (Real British Husband)'s i-pad. "No flights coming out of UK today, it's snowing badly". Since moving to NYC we've become a little bit obsessed with flying weather conditions around the world. "No-one's going anywhere today in Japan" he says "Though that hurricane is over in Uzbekistan.."

About this time last year we set off for JFK on a wintery afternoon for a night flight back to the UK. At 4pm there were a few snow flurries but by 6.30pm, our take off time, it was coming down heavily. We boarded our flight, pushed off from the gate and headed out towards the runway. Then we slowed down as thick snow seemed to bury the plane. In fact, that's what happened and after 30 minutes of battling towards the runway the pilot just had to stop.  There we stayed. For 12 hours. The crew served all the meals, ran all the entertainment but at 4a.m they just took themselves off duty. 'We're going off duty now' said one, helpfully, when I asked for a drink of water. 'You can have water while we've got it but it's by request only, we're not offering it.'  Meanwhile,  parents with toddlers and babies were openly sobbing more loudly than their kids and people's moods changed from grim acceptance to defiance. Naturally I led the 'Get us off' campaign but nothing could be done. You're about 30 feet off the ground (made that figure up but it sounds right, the beauty of t'internet) in a jumbo so you can't just get out. It occurred to me to just storm the emergency exit when the crew weren't looking and lead everyone out down the chute. My immediate family refused to accompany me so I abandoned that plan and in the end just sat in my seat with a permanent case of Wife Face. Wife Face is the facial expression you see on wives in traffic queues or supermarket car parks, sometimes in petrol stations. It's a look that combines blinding boredom with abject misery, resignation and irritation. Wife Face, why not try it out?

ANYWAY, I am bored now so you must be asleep...for those still awake we finally got off that plane at 7 a.m the next morning. Holding passengers hostage like this is now no longer allowed by the way. Our nightmare happened the day before a new 4-hour limit law was passed in the USA. We eventually got to the UK four days later but I vowed we would not bother this year.  So glad. We would have set off today and sure-as-s---t, no planes are taking off or landing in England due to snow this time.  I am feeling very sad and sorry for a number of close friends currently stranded on both sides of the Atlantic but am also smugly lying in bed with my laptop.  So sad not to be spending Christmas with my darling sis but so glad not to be stranded at the mercy of British Airways and the weather goddesses. At least, not today..........

Good luck and warm, hopeful thoughts to all who are xxx

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